Pain and Power

Remembering can generate both pain and power. August is the month of my youngest son’s birthday. If you’re new to my blog, the son I reference died by suicide in 2007. He was 21, I can’t imagine him any older than that.

First, if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, people who care and want to help you are available. In the U.S. call 988 the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline day or night and talk with someone who understands. Get online support at or to learn more. For helplines in other countries click here.

Certain seasons and times of year are difficult for me due to residual trauma effects. To avoid pitfalls, I must be vigilant and intentional with appropriate self-care and stay near to my LORD during those times. As I approach J’s birthday, I worked through varied emotions writing a free-verse poem. There was pain to work through but with the Holy Spirit, there’s power too—the power of God’s healing touch.

Another power comes in trusting the truth of the Scriptures. Reminding myself, “The LORD is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, CSB).

And there is great comfort in knowing, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4, CSB). What a glorious time is ahead for those who have put their hope in Christ Jesus our LORD.

An estimated 30,177 have died by suicide as compared with the 7,057 killed in post-9/11 war operations.
The report notes that the increasing rates of suicide for both veterans and active duty personnel are outpacing those of the general population.
Source: Brown University, Costs of War study.

In Memory of JWA

Oh, my son, dear one,
how I remember you.

The sought after longed for
child number three.
Big brother’s tag-a-long,
sister’s living doll,
perfected homogeneous blend of we.

Oh, my son, dear one,
how I remember you.

Brown eyes ‘n full head of hair,
grandparents proud.
Determined learner by
You were a biker, runner, ‘n friend to a crowd.

Oh, my son, dear one,
how I remember you.

Grown up all too quick and
set in your ways.
American soldier
turned boy into man
your service to country put us in a daze.

Oh, my son, dear one,
I forever love you!

© Manette Kay

Author Bio
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, grandmother, great-grandmother, foster care parent, and trauma survivor. I enjoy sipping tea, writing devotionals, prayers, short stories, and unburdening my heart to the Lord. Check the About page if you want to read more of my story.

Would you like to know more about the afterlife and how you can be assured of eternity in Heaven? Check the Questions page.

Check the Free Gifts page for downloadable/printable study guides and resources.

Copyright © 2020-2023 Musings of Manette Kay™ All rights reserved. Requests to the author and publisher, Manette Kay, for permission.

Selective focus of photo of US flag by Daniel Foster on Unsplash.
Scripture quotation added by Manette Kay.
Boots on the Ground photo by Matthew Huang on Unsplash.

Published by musingsofmanettekay

Sharing bits of memoir in the format of devotionals, prayers, short stories, and occasionally a poem.

21 thoughts on “Pain and Power

  1. As I read this post and the one you linked to it I was reminded of the times when my life has been impacted in part by suicide, my first experience being when I was a young boy and a dear neighbour who I called “Auntie” ended her life. A few years after this my mum attempted suicide at home, but thankfully survived. These days are etched in my mind. Your posts share but also shine a very practical light on this subject, thank you Manette. I pray that our Father God will continue to draw near to you and lead you by His light each day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Alan, I’m sorry you were touched by suicide at a tender age. And I rejoice with you that your mother’s experience was incomplete. I also had a family member who survived a rescue intervention in addition to the son and husband who did not. An incomplete attempt still sends shock waves of emotions, questions, and fears through loved ones.

      I share my story for awareness, to not waste what has touched my life, and to point to the glorious hope and healing that comes from our LORD.

      Thank you for sharing your experience here. You are a blessing to many through “Devotional Treasures” and another testimony of God’s healing powers. Yehovah bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ❤ I pray God holds you especially near this month, Manette. I'm an August birthday too. Whenever I think about my birthday, I'll pray for you. You are in the best hands, cradled in the best arms. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tears reading this. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing of the pain you’ve lived with, and the tender loving care God has wrapped you in. Praying for you during this particular time especially. Jesus hold her close.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Simply B. The prayers are appreciated and felt. I imagine one day the other side of this life getting to hug and thank so many people, like you, for saying a prayer that assisted me. Yehovah bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amen, the “other side of this life” holds such amazing promise, no more pain or tears and yes, people like you to meet up and spend eternity with praising our Savior. Praise His Holy Name!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing your heart, the pain and the Lord’s comfort and care through it. I pray that the Lord hold you close during this time Manette.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have read much on losing a child because I have several friends who are grieving over it. One friend who lost her son through heart disease is dear to my heart. She has RA and it got to much worst after her son died and she struggles now with two griefs, her son and her life. It’s hard to know what to say at times and I am glad there is little reminders such as your post and others to help me be a good friend to her. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you found something in this, Betty. Recently, a friend of mine quietly commiserated with me by just listening as I poured out my emotions. Afterwards she happen to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

      I expressed gratitude for her listening and sitting with me in my pain. She did not NEED to say a thing. She was a true friend in that moment by being present in my pain with no platitudes, quick-fixes, or advice. None of those things would have helped if they were presented. Often in pain or grief we need to be heard or just need someones presence.

      Think of how Job’s friends sat with Job in silence the first three days. During those moments they were good friends. Thanks for reading. Yehovah bless you.


  6. Thank you for sharing about your son, Manette; three of my siblings have gone to heaven in the past two years, but I can’t imagine the pain of losing either of my (two) adult kids or my wife. Those two verses you quoted have been a couple of my favorites for many years; they’re underlined in my Bible. May our Lord continue to give you the comfort that only He can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and your kind words, Keith. Our God is full of compassion and grace but we may not always feel it or see it in the midst of crushing circumstances. That is when we must cling to our faith and trust in the truth of His word. As we do His goodness is revealed. Yehovah bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

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